New year's resolution

Happy new year I guess?
I’m not sure how I’m even alive right now. I had given up yesterday.

I woke up to the dog sitting there watching me. As soon he noticed I was awake he disappeared. Part of me was drawn to her book again. I still haven’t finished reading it. Only thirty or something pages left. I couldn’t force myself to finish it. Instead I just lay there in bed for a few hours, staring at the ceiling.

My mind wandered and my thoughts spiralled down into despair. Then suddenly something snapped. I’m not sure what it was. Maybe it was my guilt taking over me. Or maybe I just stopped caring.

Either way I got out of bed and threw on the same clothes I had been wearing for a week. Stepped outside and just started walking aimlessly. I soon found what I was looking for.

When the clown showed up it didn’t even paralyze me. I think it knew it didn’t have to. I wasn’t going to run. It moved closer and started laughing. That awful wheezing laugh that will probably never stop haunting me. It whispered. “Come.”

That’s when I started laughing as well. I don’t know why but I was actually laughing. Not that empty laugh it normally forces out of me. Something about it was actually funny to me at the time. Or maybe I just lost my mind.

It’s claws reached out to me again and I could hear its bones cracking as it stretched its arms. I was ready to let it take me.

The black dog however wasn’t too happy about that. He attacked the clown out of nowhere and took a big chunk out of its side. Rotting organs spilled out and the clown let out an ear piercing shriek again.
I dropped to my knees in pain.

A loud crack and the clown had turned around. The two fought again but I didn’t run. I Just sat there on the ground.

The dog kept biting but it didn’t seem to slow down the clown at all. Even when its rotting guts spilled out and its foul blood splattered everywhere.
It slashed the dogs hind leg with its long claws. The dog yelped.

Then I screamed in pain as a gash appeared on my leg. The dog healed itself again.

Then panic set in and I realized that if I stayed around much longer I would be hurt even more. I struggled to get back up and limped my way out of there. But I wasn’t fast enough and now I’ve got a cut on my forehead as well.

Luckily that was the last wound I got from that fight. Neither of the wounds are as bad as my shoulder was though. I still had some bandages left from that. So I took care of my wounds the best I could. If my parents found out they’d probably freak out.

I was stupid and got myself hurt, again. I was about to give up and hand myself over to the clown. I was gonna let him do whatever torture he wanted on me because I thought I deserved it. But fuck that! I might deserve it but no way in hell am I giving these fuckers what they want.

Both the clown and the dog can go fuck themselves. I’m ending this my way.

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